She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
