I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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