they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Rumble strips road head = magical
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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