Don't you send me to vm
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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