I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/