he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize