I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
