my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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