I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
