The maid of honor just puked.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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