I heard we made out
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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