I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
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