you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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