shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
