That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
