just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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