A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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