Where is the hickey?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
