Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
