his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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