i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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