but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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