There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
