why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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