i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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