we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
