i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
