Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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