My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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