i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize