how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
