Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
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Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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