going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
