I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
