I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize