No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
