It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
