he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
