A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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