Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
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You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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