hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
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