Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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