This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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