So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
