Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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