Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize