she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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