and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
