I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
