Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
But theres a keg here and me gusta
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
