no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
