I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
