Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
